How is your day going?
How is your day going?
I have found that the best way to unstuck myself is by helping/encouraging someone else without expecting anything in return when I come across the book by Dr. Jane McGonigal, Ph.D. “SuperBetter” in the book is a particular technique that I love to use regularly called Plus-One Better.
One of the things I love about these exercises is their simplicity and effectiveness.
Here are the instructions:
Pick three people:
1. Someone who would like to hear from you
2. Someone you would like to hear from
3. Someone who might be surprised to hear from you
You can proceed by 3 different levels of difficulty:
- Easy: You’re going to send a message to the first person on your list
- Medium: You’re going to message the first and second person on your list.
- Hard (My Favorite): You’re going to message all three.
After that, you will text (my favorite and fasted way I found) and ask each of the three people, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how is your day going?” . If you choose another method like DM, PM, or email whatever you choose Make sure you send it privately.
It may feel a bit out of the blue to the person who receives it. That’s okay. In fact, it’s good. Your goal is to catch someone off guard with a signal that you care, and that you’re thinking about them. Meanwhile, asking for a number from 1 to 10 prompts more reflection than simply asking “How’s it going?” — and it often gets you a more honest and interesting reply. (You’ll see what I mean as soon as you give it a try!)
Send your message now… Now you wait (patience is also essential training)
When the message returns with a number from 1 to 10, here’s what you’re going to reply:
“Is there anything I could do to help move it from a 6 to a 7?” (or . . . “from a 3 to a 4” or “from a 10 to an 11” — you get the idea).
Know that sometimes they’ll answer with just a number. Sometimes they’ll offer details to explain their number. It’s amazing how much you can learn about what’s on someone’s mind by how they explain their 1, 5, or 10. And when you offer to do something to bump their number up by just +1, it pretty much always makes them smile. You’ll be surprised by how surprised other people are when you take the time to explicitly offer your support.
I can wait to read the comments about your experience with this exercise.
Dr. McGonigal explains why this works: “This quest is designed to adapt the best features of social games to everyday life. It’s quick and easy, and like online games, you don’t have to be face to face to do it. It models reciprocity: by offering to make someone’s day +1 better, you’re communicating that you care and that they can count on you for support. And it increases common ground — if they explain their number to you, you’ll know a little bit more about what’s going on, which gives you something to talk about. If they don’t explain their number, you’ve still checked in — and every check-in helps increase the familiarity that leads to stronger relationships.”
After doing it a few times, I believe you will use it a lot.
See also
